Brightened
by NyanNyanNekomi
Summary: When Shizuo causes Izaya to commit suicide, Shizuo finds himself constantly searching for the flea, along with everyone else. But, when he finally finds Izaya, he realizes that Kaitoya had captured him and shot him in public, in front of Shizuo and Celty. Izaya isn't himself, and still hasn't gotten over his depression... But that isn't even the biggest problem. Sequel to Shadowed
1. Shadowed

**HELLO~! So, this is the sequel to my fanfic, 'Shadowed'! If you haven't read it yet, it's not too late! ^^ So, anyways, thanks to everyone who was with this story from the start. I really appreciate it. Also, I really love RedVengeance's stories, so go check her out, too! See ya at the end of the chapter! ^^**

**Shadowed: s/9971126/1/Shadowed**

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**_Chapter One_**

Shizuo woke up to a significant brightness shining through his window. He shielded his eyes with his arm and groaned, sitting up. He took his phone from the nightstand, checking for any new messages or missed calls. "Hm..?" He clicked on 'inbox' and found a text from Celty.

_Celty Sturluson 12:43 AM._

_Shizuo, did you see that, too? There was some… SHADOW or something! And I could've sworn it was Izaya! Text me back when you wake up._

His eyes widened. He texted her back immediately.

_Shizuo Heiwajima 7:00 AM._

_I did. I tried to find him, but… It was like he was a shadow. It was… sorta creepy, actually._

He waited for a few minutes, but decided when Celty didn't reply for a few minutes, she was on a job or something. He set his phone aside, changing into his usual bartender's getup. He looked at himself in the mirror for a moment, wondering if he should re-dye his roots. Deciding it was unnecessary, he walked out the door and waited at Russia Sushi for Tom.

"Oi! Shizuo!" Simon called out. "Is there problem?"

"Nah, I'm good, Simon," Shizuo smiled at him. Simon nodded and lowered his voice.

"You still looking for Izaya?" he asked.

Shizuo looked down, tapping his foot. "Honestly..? I don't know."

"Shizu-chan~!" A voice called out… But it wasn't Izaya's. No, it was Mairu Orihara. She skipped over to Shizuo, not followed by Kururi for some reason.

"Oh, Mairu. Where's your sister?" Shizuo asked.

Mairu shrugged. "We got into a fight. Izzy's usually there to break it up, but… without him… I guess we're just going to fight a lot more." She sighed.

Shizuo nodded, frowning. "Oh, I see…"

"But I thought I saw him! I saw his shadow in my room, but when I looked out the window, he wasn't there!" Mairu shook her head. "I know he's out there, though."

"Is that so?" Shizuo asked. He patted Mairu's head. "Alright, well," he looked over and saw Tom and Vorona waiting for him. "I gotta go now." He walked over to the two.

"Shizuo, I kind of… Have something to say," Tom rubbed the back of his head nervously as they started to walk. "I want you to… take the year off."

"What!?" Shizuo stopped. "Tom-san, I really respect you, but… what!?"

"Shizuo, you're looking for Izaya. I _know_ you are, so… You could just do that, okay? You don't need to waste your time with this," Tom sighed.

"Tom-san, I _need_ this job. You don't understand, I-"

"Shizuo, I'm still paying you."

"… _WHAT!?"_ Shizuo threw his hands up in the air. "What do you mean!? Pay me for a _year_ for doing _nothing!?_"

"Shizuo… Please don't make this hard," Tom sighed again. "Alright, fine. I'll tell you what. You either take a vacation, or you're fired."

Shizuo stared at him. "… I…" He looked away, pausing for a moment. "Then… I guess I'd better go," he shook his head, walking away with his hands in his pockets.

[Oh, Shizuo!] Celty stopped her motorcycle beside him. [Hey!]

"Hey…" Shizuo took a cigarette out of his pocket, but Celty smacked the box away.

[I thought you said you'd quit that!] Celty shook her head.

"I know, I know, but… I just…" Shizuo rubbed his temples. "Everything is falling apart. Izaya's gone, I won't be able to work for a year, and…"

[A year? Why not?] Celty tilted her head.

"Izaya. Tom-san told me to look for Izaya," Shizuo looked up at her.

[… But… You were planning on looking for him anyways.]

"No, not anymore. I realized that if he really _is_ out there, then obviously, he doesn't want to see us. Why can't he just come out of hiding now? He doesn't _actually_ care. He's just a rotten flea who drains the life out of everyone."

[Shizuo…] Celty shook her head. [I'm looking for him. You can come if you want. I'm doing this for _you_.] She looked forward and rode off. Shizuo frowned and went home, wondering what Celty thought of him now. Of course, he'd lied, but he didn't mean to insult Izaya. If he really _was_ out there, what if he was listening? Had Shizuo hurt Izaya further than he'd already been?

Shizuo decided to find Izaya the one way he knew how- through Izaya's eyes. He watched people, studied them. He decided to twist some of them around without causing any real damage. He got on the chatroom in nearly all his free time.

- Shizuo H. has logged on.

Setton: Hey…

Indoor Scholar: Hello~! ^^

Bakyura: Sup?

Shizuo H.: Hey. And, sorry about earlier, Setton. I didn't mean to…

Setton: No. It's… It's fine.

Shizuo H.: You sure..?

Setton: Yeah. I'm sorry, too. I was kind of stuck up.

- Kanra has logged on.

Setton: Kanra!

- Kanra has logged off.

Shizuo H.: What..?

Indoor Scholar: I think Kanra's trying to tell us something.

Bakyura: x

Shizuo H.: Excuse me, I have to go.

- Shizuo H. has logged off.

Shizuo got up from his computer, going to Russia Sushi. He nodded to Simon and entered, sitting down. Dennis didn't think he looked too enthusiastic about speaking at the time, so he just let him be. Shizuo sat next to the window, staring out at all the people. He took out a notepad and a pencil, writing down the names of everyone he recognized and what they were doing. The door did its little ding that it did when someone opened the door, and Shizuo glanced over.

It was a short man in a leather half jacket, a red T-shirt, dark skinny jeans, converses, and short black hair. Shizuo didn't think it was possible. He stared at the man for a moment.

Dennis smiled at him. "Oh, hey, Daichiin," he nodded to the man.

Shizuo relaxed. Okay, so it wasn't Izaya. He continued to people-watch and record everything, wondering what to do with all of his information. He ran out of pages in the notepad and read over everything, actually finding some very interesting things.

The most interesting thing he found was that this was an extremely effective way to make time fly by. He stood up, leaving Russia sushi and starting his way back home. He constantly looked around, searching for the fur-lined jacket or the insufferable smirk, for the flea that would fix all his problems.

He would, right?

Shizuo had stopped paying any attention to the street, instead thinking to himself, when he bumped into someone.

"Sorry," the man said nearly inaudibly. Shizuo nodded, looking back at him, before noticing he took off. He thought about the voice for a moment…

"Izaya!" Shizuo called out, turning and running after the man. Though, somehow, when he turned the corner, 'Izaya' was gone. Shizuo knew it now. Izaya Orihara was still alive, and still walking. But why wasn't he showing himself?

Shizuo's phone dinged. "Hm?" He looked down at it.

_Celty Sturluson – 6:00 PM._

_Hey, Shizuo. I really am sorry for my earlier outburst. Anyways, I caught Izaya on one of the security cameras in your apartment building._

_Shizuo Heiwajima – 6:01 PM._

_What? Why would he be there?_

_Celty Sturluson – 6:01 PM._

_I'm really not sure. All he did was walk up to your door, and kind of stood there with his fist a few inches away from it, like he was going to knock or something… But he never did._

_Shizuo Heiwajima – 6:02 PM._

_Hm… I wonder why. Well, anyways, thanks, Celty. I'll see you tomorrow._

_Celty Sturluson – 6:02 PM. _

_See you._

Shizuo sighed and shook his head. There was no way in hell that Izaya actually wanted to see Shizuo. If he did, then he at least would have-

_RING RING! RING RING!_

… Called.

Shizuo slowly brought the phone up to his ear. "Hello..?"

There was the sound of crying- no, _sobbing_. "S-Shizu-chan..!"

Then there was the sound of a punch being thrown. Izaya screamed out in pain.

"Izaya! What happened!? Where are you!?" Shizuo yelled, ignoring the stares he got from the people around him.

Izaya went silent for a moment as there was another voice that sounded somewhat controlling and proud, though it was too muffled for Shizuo to make out.

There was the sound of another hit.

"SHIZU-CHAN!" Izaya screamed. There was laughter after that. Not Izaya's laughter- no, he never stopped sobbing. But somebody else's. "Don't… Please… No… Anything else!" Izaya pleaded. "Just don't touch hi-"

The line went dead. Shizuo practically crushed the cellphone in his hand. "Whoever that was… They're dead," he growled.

This wasn't a rescue mission.

This wasn't a search party.

This wasn't even reality anymore.

This was something that Shizuo understood, something that would resort to…_ violence._ It was something he could naturally work with. Conversation? Tried it, didn't work. Therapists? Even worse. But _violence?_ That was the most relaxing thing to him, laughing as his victim crawled away, begging for mercy. He could use violence.

And right now, he could use it more than ever.

- The Next Day -

Shizuo sat next to Celty on the couch as Shinra drank coffee, leaning against the ottoman. "And… When he called me… He screamed my name, then… Something like…" Shizuo snapped his fingers. "Just don't touch… hi… hi…" He sighed. "It started in 'hi'."

[Shizuo, do you really need a rocket scientist to figure it out? He said _him_. Not _hi_, but _him._] Celty sighed. [Do you have any idea what he was talking about?]

"I don't know… I heard a voice in the background, but I couldn't make out what it was saying… I really think Izaya's hurt," Shizuo sighed.

"He most likely is," Shinra stated with a shrug. "But, of course, we can sit around here, or the three of us can find another way to save him once again, unless you just want to let him _suffer_ until he finally dies, which would take about a month given the information that you just provided. So, which one is it, Shi-san?"

Shizuo clenched his fists. "I'm finding him. Now. _Today._"

It was all Shizuo said before leaving the house, nearly breaking down the door.

Celty flinched. [S-Shizuo, I don't think…] She walked after him, picking her helmet up from the table and securing it onto her neck. [You can't do this alone. You're never going to get anywhere alone, and you _know_ it. So… At least… Let me come with you..?]

"No. I'm not going to hurt anyone else," Shizuo replied sternly.

[Shizuo, you won't _hurt_ me. I know that you're in a bad mood and everything, and so… If you need a shoulder to cry on, right now, I'm here. But until we get Izaya back, we're only wasting time. Just… Please.] Celty was practically pleading right now.

Shizuo sighed, turning and staring at her. "Celty…" He shook his head. "I can't believe I'm saying this… Fine."

[Okay, I'll get my bike.]

"No. If you want to tag along with me, we're doing this my way," Shizuo stared straight forward, walking along the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets. Celty followed.

[Well… Hey, wait up!] She shook her head. [But isn't motorcycling faster than walking?]

"Well, you can't exactly question people if you're speeding past them at 70 miles an hour. So, let's go," Shizuo continued walking, before he heard a female voice call out.

"Oh, Shizuo!" The brunette at the other end of the street smiled. _Alicia_, Shizuo thought to himself. "Hey!"

Shizuo waved to her and she walked over to him. "What's up?" she asked.

[Oh, well, we're just trying to find Izaya.] Celty held her PDA up.

"Oh! I think I know where he is!"

Shizuo tilted his head. "What? _How_?"

"Do you know Kaitoya Yairu?" Alicia asked. Shizuo's body stiffened. _If that stupid redhead goes anywhere near Izaya, he'll be sorry… _

"Yeah, what about him?" Shizuo asked.

Alicia tapped her fingers on the side of her bag. "Well, just check his place. He has a book filled with the names of everyone there."

[Wait, but, how do you know all of this?]

"Oh! Because!" Alicia rubbed the back of her head, looking somewhat nervous. "I'm his, um… Daughter," her smile was one of those _please-don't-hate-me_ smiles. Shizuo frowned.

"Oh… Has he ever-"

"Yes. I don't… want to talk about it. And… Shizuo, do you have any hope?" Alicia asked him. Shizuo nodded.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because… Hope is amazing. Hope is something _everybody_ has, no matter how much they deny it. And Izaya? He probably has so, so much hope for you to come and save him… Because it's what you've been doing for his entire life. Even if it was because of you, you'd always make sure he was alive, breathing, _safe…_ So… Don't crush his hope, Shizuo." Alicia paused and took a breath. "Okay. Well, I'll see you around, then." Alicia walked away.

Shizuo was deep in thoughts before Celty interrupted.

[So, Kaitoya Alicia, huh?] Celty walked beside Shizuo, as they took off once again.

"Yep… Kaitoya's place… I wonder where that is," Shizuo replied.

[Huh?] Celty stopped, turning her head to look at the television store. The screens in the window had the news on, and surprisingly enough, there was… Shinra. Then, Mairu. Then, Kururi. Then, just add Simon, Dennis, Mikado, Kida, Anri, and even Kasuka. They were all getting moved into police vehicles. [What!?]

"Hold on… Read it. It says they're being put on a psychiatric hold," Shizuo's eyes widened. "Maybe it's because… They're saying Izaya's still alive?"

[Well, they're not psycho, so it has to be!] Celty was trembling. [Shinra… Shizuo, we have to get them out of there!]

"I know, I know. We can do that by proving Izaya is alive. That makes what we're doing so much more important," Shizuo sighed. "But, then again, we're still targets for the cops, now, huh?"

Celty nodded. [Yeah, I guess…]

Then, everybody quieted down. Everybody stopped. Everybody looked behind them as they heard the piercing scream. Shizuo almost covered his ears, and he would have if he didn't recognize the scream. He'd heard it a few times before. And even though it was only a two second scream, it was as clear and obvious to Shizuo as ever.

"I-Izaya…"

Suddenly, the crowd parted as the raven-haired man sobbed in the middle of the street on his knees. He looked like he'd just been…

Shot.

Because he had.

Shizuo and Celty froze.

A girl from the crowd hesitantly walked over to Izaya and tapped his shoulder. He flinched, not looking back at her. She was whispering something in his ear. Something everybody in Ikebukuro knew- except for Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara.

Izaya's eyes widened. He clutched his left side, and attempted to stand, but failed horribly. He was breathing heavily, losing his strength as the time passed.

Shizuo and Celty looked at each other. [Shizuo, you have to do something!]

"Why me!? What could I possibly do!? It's my fault this is-"

[Just shut up and do something! You're supposed to clean up your own messes!]

"WELL, HE COULD JUST GO AND DIE, THEN!" Shizuo yelled. He was too afraid and too worried to move. It wasn't that he didn't want to help, it was just that he _couldn't_.

Nearly everyone in the crowd heard him- including Izaya. Izaya stopped moving, stopped trying to stand up, and stopped trying to survive. It didn't matter anymore.

And Shizuo was left there, wondering what he could do.

Somebody, Alicia, Shizuo thought, pushed Shizuo out of the crowd and towards Izaya. Izaya looked away. He didn't want to see Shizuo now. Not after what he did.

"Izaya…" Shizuo choked. The crowd watched the two intently. It wasn't a cat and mouse game. No practical human would kick a man when he's down, especially if that man had just been shot in the rib. "I've been looking for you, you know."

"Y-You told me to… d-die," Izaya coughed.

Shizuo rubbed his temples. "Izaya, I was just angry. I didn't want to see you hurting yourself."

"That's no reason to… to…" Izaya couldn't finished the sentence, clutching his side even harder. He winced, his tears hitting the ground.

"Izaya… I'm sorry. You have no idea how much I've regretted it since you…" Shizuo kneeled down next to Izaya. "Since you died. I don't know how you're here right now, but I just want you to stay. Don't hurt yourself, or… Don't think you're worthless, because you're not. You know how many people care about you? Everyone who got caught by the police and thrown in an asylum or something for saying you were still alive. We were all so caught up in trying to find you that we forgot about everything else. And… Hey," Shizuo hugged Izaya gently, careful not to touch his wound. "You knew I'd come, anyways."

~~ Three Days Later ~~

Shinra walked into his apartment, sitting down on the couch. "Thank God… I was released from that crazy place!" he exclaimed. "Along with all the others, of course… Hey, how's Izaya?"

[Oh, he's fine. I treated him.] Celty stared at him, and Shinra thought she would probably be smiling if she had a head.

"WHAT!? How!? Did you do it RIGHT!?" Shinra began to panic.

[Shinra… I've seen you fix up gun wounds… What, a few hundred times now? It's okay, I know how to do this. It must have been good, since Izaya's _alive._] Celty shrugged. [So, don't be all worrisome, okay?] She tilted her head.

"Oh… O-Okay…" Shinra sighed. "Alright, so, where is he?"

[Um… Shizuo and Izaya are over at Izaya's. Believe it or not, Namie's actually taken a liking to Izaya. I don't know, he's just getting along with a lot of people better.] Celty turned. [I could take you over if you want.]

"E-Eh? No, thank you!" Shinra smiled. "So, anyways… What's up, Celty?"

~~ Meanwhile ~~

Izaya hugged his knees to his chest, nuzzling into the blanket. He was still shivering, though. "Namie?" he called out. She looked up from her computer desk.

"Hm?"

"Could you please make some hot chocolate? It's freezing," Izaya asked her.

Namie chuckled. "Well, you said the magic word, so…" She stood up. "Whatever." She walked into the kitchen, seeing Shizuo. "He's a really high maintenance person," Namie breathed.

"Yeah," Shizuo sighed. "But, I wouldn't blame him, especially after what happened."

"But… I didn't think Kaitoya would _know_ when Izaya was vulnerable… Maybe you should ask him about it," Namie poured a glass of milk and set it in the microwave. "Y'know. Just talk."

"I don't think 'just talking' can help me right now… I'd need a miracle," Shizuo frowned. "I mean… I wouldn't blame him for _anything._ Most of this is my fault."

"I can't even _try_ to disagree on that one," Namie shook her head. "Well, it's best to talk to him anyways. Just… start a conversation or something. Oh, and give him this," She stirred hot chocolate mix into the cup of warm milk, handing it to Shizuo. He sighed.

"Yeah… Okay, I guess," Shizuo took it and left the kitchen, walking over to Izaya and sitting in the chair next to him. He set the hot chocolate down and Izaya's head popped out of the blanket.

"..?" Izaya looked at it for a moment before realizing what it was. "Oh."

"Yep. Hot chocolate… From Belgium. You know, I used to drink Belgium hot chocolate. Then, my mom got food poisoning from it and was sick for three months," Shizuo said, trying his best to strike a conversation. Izaya slowly pushed the cup away from himself.

"… Okay…" Izaya cuddled back up into the blanket, somewhat creeped out.

Shizuo tapped his foot. "… So… How are you? Are you feeling fine?"

"I… I'm not in the mood to talk," Izaya turned away, avoiding Shizuo's stare.

"… Izaya, everything that happened was my fault. It's my fault you jumped, my fault you were hurting so much, and-"

"It isn't your fault this time," Izaya replied quickly.

Shizuo blinked. "What do you mean?"

Izaya paused for a moment, still not looking at Shizuo. "… Because. It's mine."

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**OKAY... So, I'm REALLY eager to spoil everything in the next chapter for you, but I'm not going to do that! xD I hope you guys liked the beginning to the sequel o3o Bye~**

**Also, I got a new Arkapasso Alpaca today! ^^ His name is Dave. xD**

**So, on a related note...**

**GOODBYE, MY ALPACAS.**


	2. Psych(e)!

**HEYOOOO~ So I didn't post yesterday. I know. I was thinking I'd post every OTHER day. So, I hope your lives are running smoothly. Dave says hello. Have a nice time o3o **

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"What do you mean it's yours?" Shizuo asked, staring intently at him. "No- Let me guess- YOU planned ALL of this, and YOU knew what was going to happen. Is that it!?" Shizuo yelled, standing up. "Why do you always play these stupid games and tricks!?"

Izaya flinched, his voice cracking. "I- I didn't… That's not it… And, don't just accuse me of doing things!" Izaya stood as well, facing Shizuo… Though, he was trembling hard. "You always make a big deal out of these things and you never try to understand!" Izaya yelled back. Shizuo clenched his fists.

"Then tell me what you meant. _Tell me_ that I'm wrong. _TELL ME_ you didn't do any of this crap!" Shizuo snapped.

"…" Izaya sat back down, silently. "I… I can't."

"Then, that just proves I'm right." Shizuo grabbed his coat and put it on, walking to the door and putting a hand on the knob, before he was interrupted.

"I… I… I called Kaitoya after you yelled, and he was just so… so kind, and forgiving, and I thought that… Maybe… He could help me, but-"

"YOU CALLED KAITOYA!?" Shizuo walked back over to Izaya, slamming his fist on the table and causing it to shatter.

"I DIDN'T THINK HE'D HURT ME! He was too nice, and too worrisome, and I just felt so horrible, and when you snapped for the second time I decided to just go ahead and jump already, but I didn't die, and so I called Kaitoya again, and he took me in, and… and…" Izaya started sobbing into his pillow. Shizuo stared at him in surprise.

"You went to _Kaitoya_ for _comfort_?" Shizuo hissed. He frowned when Izaya didn't respond. "…" He sat down next to him on the couch, taking his coat off and setting it on the table. "Izaya…"

"GET AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Izaya sobbed harder. Shizuo pulled the pillow away from him gently, setting it back where it was.

"I'm sorry…" Shizuo hugged Izaya tightly. "No matter how you look at this, it's my fault, and my fault only. You don't have to blame yourself, because it was all me. If I didn't get angry, you wouldn't have called… _Kaitoya_… and none of this would have happened."

Izaya listened to Shizuo's voice, as he always did. It was the voice he could pick out in a crowd. It was the voice that comforted him. Then, of course, it was the voice that ruined his life at the same time it made it better. He sobbed into his monster's chest until he ran out of tears.

He pulled away, staring at Shizuo with teary eyes. Shizuo only looked down at him. He hadn't said a word throughout Izaya's entire… 'Crying session'.

He smiled, hugging Shizuo again. Shizuo closed his eyes, resting his head on top of Izaya's. He smiled as well.

"Flea..?" Shizuo asked.

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya teased.

Shizuo snickered. "Yeah, funny, but can I ask you a question?"

"Hm?" Izaya pulled away once again, sitting on the opposing side of the couch.

Shizuo paused, his smile disappearing. "W-Well… Do you… hate… me..?"

"Would you prefer I say yes?" Izaya asked.

"Well… I mean…"

"Whatever Shizu-chan wants," Izaya's smile brightened. "I only want Shizu-chan to be happy."

"But… what about you? Don't you want to be happy, too?" Shizuo frowned.

Izaya thought about it for a moment. "Hm… But I'm only happy when Shizu-chan's happy."

Shizuo laughed a bit. "Good enough."

Izaya sniffled, looking around sort of awkwardly. "So… Your mom got poisoned by Belgium?"

"Yeah," Shizuo breathed. "… Belgium."

Namie entered the living room, eyeing the two as she walked back to her desk and began to work again. She had heard every single word the two said.

"Well, then… I guess I should get going," Shizuo muttered. Izaya pouted.

"Why~?"

"… Well, because. I have to meet up with Shinra."

"For _what_~?"

"For lunch."

"But _why~?_"

"… You can come."

"Ooh, let me get my jacket!" Izaya stood up, grabbing his jacket from his computer chair and putting it on. Shizuo sighed and smiled, walking out of the apartment, followed by Izaya. They walked along the streets (well, Shizuo walked, Izaya skipped joyfully next to him).

Suddenly, Izaya stopped and flinched, staring in one direction, at something Shizuo couldn't see.

"… Izaya?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya blinked. "H-Huh?" He looked down, walking fast. "No, let's just go. But… We should hurry up, Shinra's probably waiting."

"Oh, okay… Right…" Shizuo sighed, matching Izaya's pace. He frowned, knowing that something was bothering him, but not wanting to pester him about it. When they reached the restaurant, Shinra and Celty were standing just outside the doors.

"Celty, Shinra," Shizuo walked up to them, Izaya still following.

"Told you Izaya would come," Shinra put his hand out in front of Celty. She shook her head, taking her wallet out and setting three hundred yen in his hand. Shinra put it in his pocket…

Then, the two did some strange handshake that involved 'Shame, shame, shame' and brofist.

"… Okay, then," Shizuo stared at them.

Izaya smiled, raising an eyebrow. "You got a handshake? Shizu-chan, why don't we have a handshake? Do you not love me enough to create a handshake?"

"… _I do not love you_," Shizuo said. "And… They're weird and engaged. It's different."

"Wait, but, _we're_ weird…" Izaya trailed off.

"… We're not getting a secret handshake, you dope," Shizuo flicked him… hard. Izaya flinched, rubbing his forehead.

"O-Ow…"

[Er… So, should we sit down?] Celty took Shinra's arm, pulling him into the restaurant. Shizuo followed, and naturally, Izaya did as well.

When they all sat down, Celty tapped Shizuo's hand. "Hm?" Shizuo asked.

[Could I talk to you in private real quick?] Celty asked. Shizuo nodded.

"Yeah, but why?" he asked her.

Izaya and Shinra were too busy talking about near-death experiences to notice. Celty pulled Shizuo away from the two, nearer to the exit of the restaurant.

[So, has Izaya forgiven you or something?] Celty asked.

"Er… Yeah, I think so," Shizuo looked back at Izaya and shrugged. He once again turned to Celty as she flashed her PDA in front of him.

[O-Oh… Okay, well, then… He still looks… Never mind! Okay, so… I guess we should just sit down now...?]

"Um… Yeah, sure, if you want."

[Wait! I… have something to tell you.]

"Hm? Okay."

[I… I just…]

"What is it, Celty?"

[All this stuff about Izaya… You really need to make sure he's okay. With what's been going on and all these happenings are just… _Wow!_ Izaya could get seriously hurt again if you let him stay like this for too long. You just… take care of him, okay?]

Shizuo thought about it for a moment. "… I… I…"

[Shizuo..?]

"Right, yeah… Okay…" Shizuo sighed. "I'll take care of him."

Celty nodded. [Okay, then, let's get back, alright?]

The two sat back down and Izaya smiled a normal, _human_ smile at Shizuo. "I was beginning to think you'd never come back."

Shizuo paused. "… I sorta wish I didn't have to," he breathed to himself. Izaya and Shinra continued their conversation, leaving Shizuo and Celty listening.

"And there was this one time, where I was cornered by the Red Triangles. My God, I was absolutely terrified. The walls were _way_ too high to scale, and I was seriously risking getting captured or hurt. They had bigger weapons than before. I… don't know what came over me… All I can remember is it _hurt_… It hurt so bad…" Izaya sighed, his smile disappearing. "After that… I ended up here. I just never told you what happened."

"Oh! That! Yeah. I remember that," Shinra said. "Hm? Oh, I got a call. It's from your brother!" Shinra put the phone up to his ear. "Hello, Psyche~?"

Shizuo gagged on the coke in his mouth as he stood up. "BROTHER?"

"Hn..?" Izaya looked up at Shizuo. "Yes, why?"

"YOU HAVE A BROTHER!?"

[Shizuo, what's the big deal about it? I mean, really.]

"…" Shizuo sat back down, not being able to say another word. Well, expect for three. "Oh. My. God…" Izaya tilted his head at this.

"Why are you so surprised?" he asked.

Shizuo stared at him. "… I want to meet this brother of yours."

"… Why..?" Izaya asked, a little disappointed.

Celty just looked away, and Shinra was too involved with his phone conversation.

"I just do," Shizuo said. "I want to see whether or not he's… _safe_."

Izaya scoffed. "If anyone's _safe_, it's him! If you want _safe,_ why don't you go crawl to him and forget about me!? He's the one who was _blessed with safety_, while I'm sitting here jumping off buildings and almost getting murdered! So if you like _safe_, then obviously, you need to get away from _me!_"

Shizuo blinked at Izaya sudden outburst.

Shinra, to break the almost depressing silence, said, "Oh, right, your brother wants to talk to you," and handed Izaya the phone.

"_What. Do. You. Want?_" Izaya hissed. A cheerful voice so loud that it could be heard around the table exclaimed,

"Oh, Izaya! It's so nice to finally talk to you again! For some reason, I'm always sent to your inbox… on all of your phones…"

"Don't you think that was by _choice_?" Izaya shook his head.

"Ehehehe… Riiight… So, what's up?"

"Nothing. Shut up and leave me alone."

"But, Izaya!"

"I said leave me alone."

"Why..?"

"Because, you're irritating, your voice sounds stupid, you're nothing but a protozoan, and you're practically useless to me. Also, _you're a flea_," Izaya said coldly. He didn't mean it just as a stupid nickname, like Shizuo, but because he always thought his brother stole his life away.

Everything, and yes, _everything_ was silent- even everyone else in the restaurant. Then, there was crying at the end of the line. "Hmph," Izaya hung up, tossing the phone on the table. "I'm leaving," he said quietly. Shizuo grabbed his arm.

"Wait, Izaya…"

Izaya turned around, pulling his arm away. He was staring at Shizuo with eyes willed of horror and tears.

"I-Iza…ya..?"

Izaya backed up a few steps before finally running out of the restaurant.

"What was that about?" Shizuo asked Shinra.

"Well, in some cases, Psyche's unintentionally… stole some aspects of his life. Mostly the good things. But, he's a really nice guy, and maybe the opposite of Izaya, except their looks," Shinra replied. "And so, Izaya's jealous of Psyche. Mostly because he gets along with others, doesn't have to try so hard to be nice, and doesn't let anything get to him… Whereas Izaya… doesn't get along with others, tries _too_ hard to be nice, and lets _everything_ get to him."

Shizuo stared at the door, before sitting back down and looking at Shinra and Celty. "Who would you guys pick for a friend?"

"If I'd never met the two before… Honestly? Psyche," Shinra said.

[I agree. But… We're Izaya's friends, and we have to stay loyal to him.]

Suddenly, 'Izaya' burst back into the restaurant happily, wearing a white coat, white jeans, white boots, a _pink_ scarf, and a set of pink and white headphones. Oh, his eyes? Pretty much pink.

"Shizuo… This is Psyche," Shinra said. Psyche sat down beside Shizuo, smiling. "Oh, wow, Shinra! So, this is Shizuo Heiwajima? I thought you said he was strong, but he looks like he could lift a building!"

Shizuo stared at him in surprise. _Why did Izaya hate him?_ "So, you're Izaya's brother?"

"Mhm! Nice to meet you!" Psyche tilted his head with a warm smile.

"Nice to… meet you… too," Shizuo replied. "So, do you and Izaya _ever_ get along?"

Psyche frowned. "Oh, no. He hates me. And I mean, _despises_ me. I didn't mean to ask out his crush. He should've told me first. And I didn't _steal_ his best friend in first grade. His friend just came over to me one day and we started hanging out! There're a lot more, but I don't want to name them all… He just doesn't tell me _anything_, and expects me to act like I already know." Psyche sighed. "I mean, he could at least hang out every once in a while… Just as a brother…"

"Hm… Oh, right, do you speak Russian?" Shizuo asked out of nowhere.

"Um… Yes… Why?"

"Izaya said something a few months ago… I can't remember…"

"Simon told me what he said. It meant, 'If there's an afterlife, I'll see you there.' I don't know why he said that, though… He always goes on and on about how I make him want to kill himself, but I didn't think he'd actually do it…"

"Wait… That was _your_ fault?" Shizuo asked.

"Well, yeah… I guess… One day, after seeing you two fight, I dressed up like him because I wanted to fight with you… And, so… I did get hit a few times, but all-in-all, you didn't notice that I wasn't him. So… He was walking down the street with his groceries. I know because I saw while we were fighting. He heard you yell his name or something, because he looked around like he was crazy. Then, his attention turned to the rooftops, and he saw us… After that, he didn't talk to me, or do anything, for that matter. He didn't even leave his house. So… I don't know," Psyche sighed.

Shizuo stared at Psyche in disbelief. His mind must have been playing tricks on him, because he could have sworn that every time he attacked Izaya, it was _Izaya... _But, then again, he never really paid attention. "I… I have to go. I'll be back in a bit," Shizuo stood up, leaving the restaurant.

_~~Izaya's House~~_

Izaya sat on his couch, sobbing into his pillow. Nobody cared. Everybody favored Psyche. Everybody liked that stupid, gay, pink-obsessed failure of a brother. It was always, "How's Psyche?" or, "Is Psyche here?"

He just wanted to…

… End it all.

After all, all his so-called _friends_ still had Izaya's stupid twin brother. They wouldn't be able to tell the difference after Izaya was gone.

His door creaked open, but he didn't even notice. He was still sobbing hard.

"Izaya..?" Shizuo's voice asked quietly. He came in, closing the door behind him and walked over to the couch, sitting beside Izaya. He wrapped his arms around him. "No one could ever replace you, you know… You're the only Izaya here."

"W-What a-are you… s-saying..?" Izaya asked, sniffling.

"Your brother told me every-"

"So, now, you're on my brother's side, too!? Did you come over here just to rub it in my face!?" Izaya yelled. Namie listened from the kitchen once again.

"No, I didn't. I came to tell you I'm sorry. I should've known… I was so, so stupid. And… I'd never choose your brother over you, so don't think that, okay?" Shizuo hugged him tighter.

"B-But… You…" Izaya hugged Shizuo back, sobbing even harder.

The phone rang and Izaya picked it up, answering it. "H-Hello..?"

"Izaya, I- DON'T HANG UP! No, please, I just want to say something. I'm so, so sorry, and I know you hate me now and everything, but I just want us to be brothers again, like we were when we were little, and I want us to get along, and I want us to play twin pranks on other people, and I want you to like me, and I want-"

"Psyche…" Izaya wiped his eyes, his voice still shaking a little bit. He couldn't help but smile. "I'm through with your stupid, pathetic lies. You're the cruelest person I've ever met. And no, I'm not talking about all the crap you've done to _my_ life, I'm talking to what you've done to everyone. Eventually, you're going to lose that stupid mask of yours and the world is going to see you for who you really are. I envy that day." He flipped his phone closed with a sigh. "Shizu-chan? I'm an idiot, aren't I?" he asked, blushing lightly when Shizuo wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer. He leaned down and whispered into his ear,

"Yes, but you're my idiot."

* * *

**OKAYYY, So, now we know why Izaya was depressed. Psyche will pop in occasionally, but won't really be in the story that much. So, coming up, there's something else besides Psyche that's causing Izaya depression, but Shizuo doesn't know what. When Psyche finally leaves, Shizuo finds a note that slipped out of his suitcase. It has an eerie message that says-**

**Well, no spoilers! Bye, love you, mwah o3o**


	3. Kill List

**HELLOOOO~! I am so, so, SO sorry that I haven't posted in the last two days! Wait, now that I read that aloud, it's not that bad. Okay, never mind! ^^ So, this is also a really important factor in the story, simply because of how huge the main problem is here, and you'll understand when you reach the end that things are going to get ****_serious._**** And not, 'I'm in a relationship' serious, but, 'SOMEONE JUST STOLE MY POPCORN! EXECUTE THEM!' serious. **

* * *

**_Chapter Three_**

Shizuo and Izaya were sitting on the couch a few days later, watching television. Izaya shifted just a bit. "Shizuo..?"

Shizuo looked down at Izaya, smiling at the use of his real name. "Yes..?"

"Could you get my cell phone from my room?" Izaya asked him.

"Sure," Shizuo shrugged, getting up, but pausing for Izaya to let go of his arm. He slowly walked into Izaya's room and looked around for the phone, seeing it on the nightstand. He walked over to it and picked it up, then…

Wait.

He turned back around to face the nightstand, seeing a note hidden idiotically under the lamp. He unfolded it.

_Kaitoya Yairu_

_ 553-4216_

He crumpled it in his hands, growling. He rushed out of the room and back to Izaya. "WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO PLAN, YOU FLEA!?"

Izaya looked up at him, obviously confused.

"Let me see your call history. GO AHEAD, I-ZA-YA. Could you show it to me!? Did you think I'd WANT you to stay in contact with a man who hurt you so much!? He shot you, for God's sake!"

"I shot myself!" Izaya exclaimed.

Shizuo froze. "You… what?"

"He made me realize how much you didn't care and how much better your life would be if I wasn't in it. So I didn't want to be in it… I just… just…" Izaya broke down in tears.

Shizuo just watched.

"S-Shizu-chan, I'm… I… I don't…"

Shizuo dropped the phone on the table, tossing the note along with it. "Next time… Get _him_ to take care of you," he spat, walking to the door.

"Shizu-chan, wait!" Izaya exclaimed. Shizuo ignored him. Izaya stood up, grabbing his arm before he could leave. "Don't go!"

Shizuo shook Izaya off of his arm, slamming the door behind him. Izaya broke down, crying on his knees.

Celty was waiting outside Izaya's apartment, on her phone. She looked up when she heard Shizuo muttering something to himself.

[Huh? What's wrong?] She asked.

"Oh, nothing. Izaya just decided to choose a villain over the decency of a human being in terms of safety," Shizuo said sarcastically.

[Oh… I… see…] Celty was lucky she didn't have a gag reflex, otherwise it would have initiated just then.

"Um… Well…" Shizuo stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I mean, did you really think he'd change so quickly? The idiotic flea is too stubborn to move an inch out of his apartment. I swear, sometimes he just-"

[Okay, slowdown there.] Celty waved her hand. [You need to take a step back…]

"I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE A STUPID STEP BACK, CELTY!" Shizuo yelled. Celty flinched.

[S-Shizuo, I really don't think we have to fight over this…] She looked down.

Shizuo stared at her for a moment. He sighed. "I'm… sorry…" he mumbled. "I guess I just... Didn't want to know the truth. Everything… was so perfect. At the very beginning- I didn't even know Izaya wanted to kill himself until the first time I saw him. But before that, he was just so… quiet. I wondered what was wrong, and, to be honest, I was a little bit worried, but it was… _nice_. He was sitting there, being good and polite, and no stupid comments… I just… I don't know," he shrugged. "To be honest, sometimes I wish I'd walk in the streets and hear some stupid insult in his voice. Then, I'd throw something at him or whatever and he'd run, then I'd chase him. That's how it always was. But…"

[Now, he's the one chasing after you…] Celty stared at him. [You shouldn't hurt him like this… He deserves it, but… At the same time, he doesn't. Just… I mean…]

"No, I understand. Thanks, Celty," Shizuo sighed. His phone began to ring and he took it out, answering it. "Hm?" There was a long pause.

"Shizu-chan?" a frightened, quiet voice asked from the other end of the line. "Shizu-chan, are you there..?"

"..? What do you mean, flea?" Shizuo growled. "Why don't you go and call _Kaitoya_ about your problems? Obviously, he can help more than I can."

"W-What..?" Izaya's voice wavered. "What are you… what?"

"… Wait, where are you?" Shizuo asked.

"That's what I- I was about to tell you… My brother trapped me in some dark room. I can't see anything… But… Um…" Izaya sighed shakily. "I just… wondered… What was going on…"

"… You were just at your apartment."

"Huh? No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were. I just left."

"What do you mean you just left?"

"I saw you in your apartment!"

"I wasn't in my apartment!"

"… It must have been…" Shizuo growled. "That stupid, girly brother of yours! I'll call you back in _exactly _fifteen minutes. I have some _business_ to take care of." He flipped his phone closed, dropping it in his pocket.

[Err…]

"I'll be back," Shizuo told her. "Take care of yourself, Celty," he began to walk towards Izaya's apartment, kicking down the door. 'Izaya' was sitting on the couch, tears still streaming down his cheeks. Shizuo narrowed his eyes.

"Give it up," Shizuo growled.

"S-Shizu-chan..? Give what up?" the raven haired man asked.

"I know you're not Izaya."

"Oh, is the ruse up already~?" Psyche seemed to give in too easily. This wasn't right. "Whoops. But I fooled you, at least~!"

"You're more insufferable than your brother," Shizuo stated angrily. Psyche laughed at this, throwing his hands in the air.

"Well, I bet you're just saying that because you're in _love~!_" He exclaimed. "Honestly..?" He stood up, walking over to Shizuo and smirking up at him. "It's pathetic."

Shizuo grabbed him by the collar and lifted him up. "I am not _in love_, and if I hear one more word come out of your mouth, I will toss you out the window!"

Psyche's 'Izaya' act returned once again, confusing Shizuo. "T-Thank you, Shizu-chan…" he said, quietly. "See, this is what I wanted. From the very start. I just wanted to die, and maybe… Maybe it was because of you."

"H-Huh?" Shizuo asked, almost dropping Psyche.

"Maybe it was because you didn't love me back, or maybe it was because you loved me for someone I wasn't, but whatever it was, I wanted to die because of it. So… Go ahead. I'm waiting," Psyche smiled sadly at him- his perfect features twisted into the same sad smile that Izaya had made so long ago. Shizuo dropped Psyche, backing up a few steps.

"W-What..?" He stared at the man. _So, if that wasn't Izaya on the phone, it was Psyche, trying to get me to save him instead of trusting the real Izaya, acting like he was Izaya… But, no, that wouldn't make sense, because the Izaya I'm talking to just revealed himself as Psyche a bit ago! I… Should I be able to tell which one's which..? Would Izaya, whichever one he may be, be angry with me for not telling the difference? Oh, wait!_

Psyche landed on his feet. "Hm..? I thought Shizu-chan was going to toss me out the window..?" he asked disappointedly.

Shizuo grabbed him by his waist and pulled him into a kiss.

Psyche's eyes widened and he back up, pushing Shizuo away from him. "WHAT!?"

"Oh, so that's how it is, _Izaya._ I thought you loved me," Shizuo growled. "WAS THAT ALL A LIE, TOO!?" he exclaimed.

"N-No, I love you, Shizu-chan, I do, but… I just..!" Psyche exclaimed.

"SO, OUR ENGAGEMENT MEANS NOTHING TO YOU!? YOU'RE NOT EVEN WEARING THE RING!" Shizuo yelled at him.

Psyche began to sob, falling on his knees. "I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

Shizuo smirked. "Don't be. After all, it's not your fault you know nothing about Izaya," he chuckled. "He doesn't _love_ anyone, and I would _never_ be engaged to him. Three things you have to know about us? One- We don't get along. Two- We're polar opposites. Three- _Look out_. Now, I suggest you go back to wherever you came from and don't come back."

"Hm," Psyche laughed. "Izaya doesn't love anyone~? Sure, sure. Think your outrageous, monstrous thoughts. Oh, well. I'm leaving~!" He walked into the kitchen, grabbing his suitcases, and left the apartment. Shizuo followed, on his way to Shinra's anyway. Psyche reached the exit of the building and turned, waving at Shizuo. "See you next time~!"

As Psyche ran away, a note slipped out of his bag and landed in front of Shizuo. Shizuo bent down and picked it up, reading it.

_Mairu Orihara_

_Kururi Orihara_

_Kasuka Heiwajima/Yuhei Hanejima_

_Anri Sonohara_

_ Shinra Kishitani_

_ Simoné Brezhnev _

_Kyohei Kadota_

_Saburo Togusa _

_ Walker Yumasaki_

_ Erika Arisawa _

_**Izaya Orihara**_

Shizuo folded the note and put it in his pocket. If anything, it seemed like a kill list. And it probably was. He took his phone out and called Izaya once again.

"Hello~?" The voice rang at the other end.

"Izaya, you alright?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah, I just used a piece of wire to escape. I always keep some with me, but I couldn't find the lock," Izaya replied. "Could you stop by my apartment for a second? I need to show you something.

"What is it?"

"Just something interesting I found… I thought you might want to read it. I'm actually surprised you haven't heard already, but…" Izaya's voice softened, and maybe, Shizuo thought, got a little bit… deeper. It sent a chill up his spine.

"Alright, I'll be there soon," Shizuo flipped his phone closed once again, putting it away. He began to walk to Izaya's apartment.

_~~A Few Minutes Later~~_

Izaya's doorbell rang. "Oh, good," Izaya walked over and opened the door, letting Shizuo enter. "Oh, um…" Izaya took the cigarette out of Shizuo's mouth and into his hand. "No smoking in my apartment. Sorry, but last time, I almost had a seizure…"

"Oh, no, it's fine," Shizuo dulled the cigar with his fingers and dropped it in the trashcan. "There. So, what's this information you need to show me?"

Izaya hesitated, but closed the door, motioning for Shizuo to sit on the couch. He brought his laptop over from the desk and scrolled down until he found what he was looking for. He sat down next to Shizuo and handed him the laptop.

Shizuo took it, reading every word carefully. "…" Tears formed in his eyes. "Yuhei Hanejima… Found… Dead…" he choked out. "Thank you, Izaya… I needed to hear that."

Izaya frowned and nodded. He knew of all the deaths that had taken place in the past three days. He didn't want to say anything, though. "And..."

"Are Mairu and Kururi dead, too?" Shizuo asked.

Izaya was shocked. "How did you..?"

"What about Kadota and Togusa?" Shizuo asked once again.

Izaya nodded. "How did you know?"

Shizuo took the note out of his pocket and handed it to Izaya, who unfolded it and stared at it with wide eyes. "… Why is my name bolded?"

"I'm guessing it's because if someone kills you, it'll make a statement," Shizuo sighed. "I don't know, but… We can't be sure about any of this, yet. We need to find everyone on this list and tell them to hide or something, or maybe we could let them stay in one of our apartments, or something."

"…" Izaya folded the paper back. "No. That's not necessary."

"What do you mean it's not necessary!? We have to keep these people safe!" Shizuo protested.

"And I will. Obviously, someone wants to kill me to make a statement. Everybody on that list has been someone I've spoken to in public, someone who didn't _mind_ me. Pray tell, there are a few missing names on it, however, I feel that…" Izaya looked at Shizuo, wanting him to continue.

"… If someone wanted to hurt you… They'd hurt everyone you cared about," Shizuo stared back at him. _A few missing names, though. _He wondered. _Who could they be?_

"Right. And so, they probably want to lure me out somehow, and they're doing that by using people they think I care about. So… I guess I'll just have to… turn myself in," Izaya gulped. He took the laptop from Shizuo and set it on the table.

"What? Why would you do that, you're only giving them what they want!" Shizuo exclaimed.

"Well… Shizu-chan, there's something I've been meaning to say," Izaya smiled sadly at him. "_I want it, too._"

* * *

**Okay, so I know this is one of the shorter chapters, (at least I think so o.o) but, as I said, this is 'SOMEONE JUST STOLE MY POPCORN! EXECUTE THEM!' serious. Sooo... Yerp-a-derp.**

**Goodbye, my lovely dead people.**


	4. Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

**HEYYYOOOO~! So, I am SO, SO sorry for not posting/updating sooner! It's been so long since I've seen you guys! I... um... think? Also, my friend pointed out to me the difference that a comma could make. Ex:**

**"Let's eat, Grandpa!"**

**"Let's eat Grandpa!"**

**The first one states someone speaking to Grandpa, and saying, "Let's eat."**

**The second one states... Well, someone suggesting to another that they should eat Grandpa.**

**Whoops.**

**DON'T FORGET THE COMMA, CHILDREN!**

* * *

Shizuo stared at him in disbelief. "What do you mean!? I thought you got over your little depression stage and-"

"Shizu-chan, you could very well be hurt if someone realized what you are to me," Izaya's sad smile didn't fade away.

"W-Wha..?" Shizuo's anger became confusion. He'd never thought about what he _was_ to Izaya. Just because they were 'friendly' just this once didn't mean they weren't enemies, did it..? "What do you mean..?"

"Shizu-chan…" Izaya pulled him into a deep kiss, laying back on the couch. Shizuo was surprised, but kissed him back. After about thirty seconds of what seemed like forever to the two, Izaya pulled away, staring at Shizuo. His eyes showed no recognition of sadness, or anger, or fear, or even slyness… He was emotionless.

Shizuo stared at him in utter shock. Neither of them moved away from each other, just staring into the other's eyes, not wanting the moment to end. Izaya was breathing heavily, his heart rate raising significantly. "S-Shizuo…" he whispered in surprise. He shook his head, pushing Shizuo off of himself and holding his head in his hands. "I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry…"

"What do you mean..?" Shizuo sat upright, staring at him in confusion.

"I… I have to go. Don't wait up, I… I'm just… I have to find a new apartment or something, or… or… I… I could move to America or something, I just…" Izaya took his laptop from the table and set it in his lap, immediately searching for any available apartments… _anywhere._

"Hey, hey, slow down," Shizuo put a hand over both of his, holding them together gently. "Okay, from the beginning, tell me what's wrong."

"… No," Izaya replied, turning the laptop away from Shizuo.

"Why not?" Shizuo asked.

"Because," Izaya sighed, typing frantically on his laptop.

Shizuo frowned. "Tell me, Izaya."

Izaya cleared his throat, setting the laptop down and shutting it. "Well, well, Shizu-chan, it seems you've fallen into my trap~" he hummed. "You see, I'm the great and infamous Psyche Orihara!"

"What!?" Shizuo exclaimed. "What do you mean!?"

Izaya smirked. "Yes, yes, Shizuo Heiwajima~ I'm surprised you couldn't even tell the difference between us! Now, you could sit here and take care of _me_, _or…_ You go and chase after your boyfriend. Now, which one is it, hm~?"

Shizuo froze. No, if he tried to stay and attack Psyche, Izaya would have already been on a plane to who-knows-where. _Or... Maybe the person Shizuo was talking to was actually Izaya, pretending to be Psyche. No, wait, they both showed love and affection to Shizuo, and they both decided to leave Shinjuku. So, obviously, they both wanted to get away for some reason… But the 'Psyche' that left with the luggage had the kill list with Izaya's name on it. Why would Izaya have that? Unless, of course, it was all a ruse. _Ugh. All this thinking made Shizuo's brain hurt.

"… I have to go," Shizuo growled, leaving the apartment.

When the door shut, Izaya frowned and sat back down on the couch. He felt tears in his eyes and curled up, pulling his blanket over him. "Shizu-chan… Don't go," he choked… But he knew that he was the one who drove Shizuo away, for the very purpose of keeping him safe. But how was going after Psyche going to make Shizuo safe? He buried his face in the blanket, sobbing.

**((A/N: Okay, so the Izaya that was just acting like Psyche is the real Izaya, and the Psyche that was just acting like Izaya was Psyche. Izaya acted like Psyche in order to keep Shizuo away from himself so that he could leave Shinjuku without any problems, knowing Shizuo would stop him. So, all in all, Izaya's just keeping Shizuo safe. Okay, we clear? If you have any problems, let me know. ~Nekomi))**

Izaya sighed, getting his laptop once again. After a few minutes, he slammed it shut and threw it against the wall, making it break in half. His breath was heavy. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this _alone._ He needed his monster.

Just as much as his monster needed him.

_~~At Shinra's Apartment~~_

"Oh, whoops! I guess you win again, Celty!" Shinra laughed, putting his cards down. Celty typed something on her PDA, showing it to Shinra.

[You're just letting me win.]

"No, of course I'm not, Celty!" Shinra waved his hand frantically. "Why would I do such a thing!?" he asked, sounding offended.

[Shinra. Play this one game fairly, and if I win, I'll believe you.]

"… Okay, okay! Let's play, then!" He exclaimed cheerfully. He took all the cards and began to shuffle them, before the door fell off of its hinges, landing on the ground. Shizuo stood in the doorway.

"… Shi-san, why did you-" Shinra began. "Never mind. What happened now?"

"Where's Izaya?" Shizuo asked.

"Why ask me?" Shinra asked back. "I don't stalk him."

Shizuo rubbed his temples. "Okay, _who's_ Izaya, then?"

[What… does… that… mean?] Celty stood up and stared at him.

"Celty, I… Well… I don't know which one's Psyche and which one's Izaya. They're both… just… It's…" Shizuo sighed. "I just can't tell."

Shinra frowned. "Well, obviously, one of them _is_ Izaya. I'd be hurt if Celty-chan couldn't tell the difference between me and someone else!"

"Not helping, Shinra…" Shizuo shook his head. "I'm just going to have to find out myself. It's not like I can expect them to actually tell me the truth."

"If that's true, and both of them are going to lie to you, then you could ask them both. Whichever one says they're Psyche is Izaya, and whichever one says they're Izaya is Psyche," Shinra stated casually. "But, of course, they could know that you think that they know even if they don't, but possibly do, considering on your opinion, yet somehow still make you believe they do when they don't, or make you believe they don't when they do."

"… What?" Shizuo asked, dumbfounded.

"… Well, it's kind of like Schrödinger's cat, right? You know that theory?" Shinra asked.

"Um… No," Shizuo replied simply.

Shinra almost laughed. "Well, you see, there's this cat, right? And, it's in a box. Now, nobody knows exactly when, but there's a vial of poison in the box that could explode at any time, killing the cat. So, the cat's either dead, or alive, or both," Shinra smiled, putting an arm of the armrest. "Get it now?"

"I guess," Shizuo shrugged. "But how does that apply to my problem?"

"Oh… I guess it doesn't!" Shinra laughed. "Okay, okay, hold on. And it's not _your_ problem, it's _ours_, too! Okay, how to explain this… Well, think about this- the Heisenberg Principle- You either know where you are, or how fast you're going, but you can't know both. Or, you know where you are, or you know where you're going, but not both. So, basically, two essential things to know, and you can only know one, and you're kind of… stuck, shall I say, in that state. Understand?"

"Um… Sure," Shizuo stared at Shinra seriously. "But, don't tell me that was useless, too."

"Science is never useless, dear Shi-san!" Shinra stated, putting a hand up dramatically. He set a hand on top of his crossed legs, resting his head against his other hand as he let his elbow sit on top of the armrest. "But, you see, you can either know which one's Izaya, or why you need to get to him so bad, but you can't know both. It'll make things a lot easier, actually."

Shizuo nodded, beginning to understand this a little better. "So, you're saying I should figure out which one's Izaya first, then I can work it out from there?" he asked.

"Yep, exactly! But, first… Just give it a few days for me, okay? Maybe even a few weeks, but the more time we have to get all the details… The better it'll be for Izaya, okay? So, just, please… Please don't go anywhere. You can even stay here with Celty and I! I mean, you could help us with all the information and stuff… So…" Shinra sighed. "Shizuo, I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know why you care so much, but… I don't even know why _I_ care so much. But… I promise you… We'll get him back. You don't have to worry, because it's Izaya. Nothing like this have ever happened, so-"

"So, that makes everything even worse. Screw _my_ feelings, have you ever thought about how _Izaya_ feels? Imagine how… how…" Shizuo held his head in his hands. "God, I can't even say anything about it… Just seeing him so… I… Did I even see him in the first place? I just want… I… I can't… Believe that…" He sighed, standing up and staring at Shinra. "I'll just grab a few things, then I'll come back. I'll stay for two weeks, but that's it. Afterwards, we're getting Izaya."

"… Okay," Shinra said quietly. "Fine. Just… Hurry, 'kay? I'll be in my office," he stood and left the room. Shizuo left once he heard the clacking of keys on the keyboard.

When Shizuo reached his apartment, he fumbled around in his pockets a bit for the key. Cigarette, cigarette, cigarette, cigarette _lighter_, (empty) wallet, another cigarette- keys! He took the keys out and unlocked the door, walking inside. He saw a piece of paper on the couch, stopping for a moment. He just stared at it, not sure how to react.

"… How..?" he didn't have to finish the question, knowing no one would answer anyways. He closed the door behind him and slowly picked the note up, reading it reluctantly.

_You said you'd never leave me… So where are you now?_

_ I know I'm cruel, and mean, and rude, but I still love you… I still have a heart…_

_ It still hurts to be thrown away._

_ You said you'd never leave me… _

_ You promised._

Shizuo crumpled up the note and tossed it in the trash.

_It still hurts to be thrown away._

He immediately thought of that one line of paper. "No. No, I am not going to feel sympathy for paper," he ordered himself. "I just have to pack my bags, then go back to Shinra's… No… No feeling bad for paper. No. Just no."

He sighed, proceeding to do as he told himself to…

Of course, what else was he going to do?

* * *

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